The flaw is in the eye of the beholder
Following on from my last post, it turns out I have many flaws (I knew I did, I just couldn’t quite put my finger on them – a flaw in itself perhaps?). Anyway, the reason they weren’t immediately obvious to me is because I saw them as qualities….yes, qualities no less. I realized this when my husband, most wonderful man that he is, pointed out a flaw (well, I did ask!). He is well aware that I would rather put my headphones on (even if they’re not attached to my iPod) than talk for more than two minutes to a fellow airline passenger. I am always civil, obviously, but just not that chatty. Of course, I would say that is because I love to read or get lost in my own thoughts. Is it not a quality to be content in one’s own head? Actually no, it is anti-social and if you listen you might actually learn something. People are interesting (some more than others – that is my fear – I might get the ‘others‘ rather than the ‘some‘).
This little enlightenment led me to further explore my qualities. As I suspected, they pretty much all turn out to be flaws (depending on your perspective):
- I take my time to warm to people before I make confident contributions to discussions versus I am quiet and reserved;
- I am hygienic, insist on regular hand washing and am un-nerved when people lick their fingers versus I am on the verge of OCD and should really lighten up;
- I take time to ensure I have everything I need before I leave the house versus I procrastinate too much and so end up being late…often;
- I am energetic and like to get out, run, take part in social events, see friends etc versus I have no idea how to relax and be still;
Some of you will (I hope) see one or more of the above as qualities but others will instantly see the flaw (another occasion where I will side with the ‘some’).
It seems then, that our personality traits are subject to the same ‘eye of the beholder’ judgement as our physical beauty. I wonder how many people can see the polarity in their qualities/flaws.
Really, I should be writing my assignment but I keep digging deeper into the dark side of my personality. A useful exercise I think – if I don’t fully, and I mean really fully, know my own personality then how can I assign rounded personalities to my characters?
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‘most wonderful man that he is’…you missed out ‘flawless’. Oh, and ‘humble’.
The point about talking /not talking to fellow air passengers is a whole new topic in itself! Made me chuckle. I don’t think it’s a flaw in you, although the finger licking business is verging on obsessive. If I’d known about it, I’d have trained my kids weeks before we came to stay… did anyone stick their finger in to taste the paella while you were making it??
Anyone who attempted to stick their finger in the paella got a short, sharp tap with a wooden spoon to the back of the hand! One question – would you have trained your kids to lick their fingers or not lick them?
I should clarify that licking fingers is far more nerve-wracking when there is a danger that the ‘finger-licker’ is going to touch my food….or anything that I might touch….eurghhh….the germs!
To not lick them! Not that they do (especially), but they are kids… So how do you get around it when the kids have just baked a fresh batch of super-nanny’s cookies??
Ah…now in this case I make an exception – once the cookies/cakes/whatever have been fully prepared I will allow the kids to lick the bowl (using a spoon if possible but fingers if absolutely no choice….I admit that sometimes it’s necessary to really get stuck in there!) on the condition that their hands are washed before touching anything else!