The flaw is in the eye of the beholder
Following on from my last post, it turns out I have many flaws (I knew I did, I just couldn’t quite put my finger on them – a flaw in itself perhaps?). Anyway, the reason they weren’t immediately obvious to me is because I saw them as qualities….yes, qualities no less. I realized this when my husband, most wonderful man that he is, pointed out a flaw (well, I did ask!). He is well aware that I would rather put my headphones on (even if they’re not attached to my iPod) than talk for more than two minutes to a fellow airline passenger. I am always civil, obviously, but just not that chatty. Of course, I would say that is because I love to read or get lost in my own thoughts. Is it not a quality to be content in one’s own head? Actually no, it is anti-social and if you listen you might actually learn something. People are interesting (some more than others – that is my fear – I might get the ‘others‘ rather than the ‘some‘).
This little enlightenment led me to further explore my qualities. As I suspected, they pretty much all turn out to be flaws (depending on your perspective):
- I take my time to warm to people before I make confident contributions to discussions versus I am quiet and reserved;
- I am hygienic, insist on regular hand washing and am un-nerved when people lick their fingers versus I am on the verge of OCD and should really lighten up;
- I take time to ensure I have everything I need before I leave the house versus I procrastinate too much and so end up being late…often;
- I am energetic and like to get out, run, take part in social events, see friends etc versus I have no idea how to relax and be still;
Some of you will (I hope) see one or more of the above as qualities but others will instantly see the flaw (another occasion where I will side with the ‘some’).
It seems then, that our personality traits are subject to the same ‘eye of the beholder’ judgement as our physical beauty. I wonder how many people can see the polarity in their qualities/flaws.
Really, I should be writing my assignment but I keep digging deeper into the dark side of my personality. A useful exercise I think – if I don’t fully, and I mean really fully, know my own personality then how can I assign rounded personalities to my characters?