Stuck for words
Sometimes I am stuck for words – not written ones, but spoken. I don’t know what happens. I have my thoughts and ideas perfectly laid out in my mind but they can’t seem to escape my mouth in an orderly fashion. The same happens when I draw – I know how I want the picture to look, I can visualise it beautifully but will the pencil form that vision? Absolutely not! It isn’t always the case (well, it is with the pencil and paper – I can’t draw for toffee!). There are occasions I can talk with the eloquence of a well versed politician (is that a contradiction in terms?) but for that to happen I must be one of the following:
a) Very well prepared
b) Discussing a light subject matter
c) Pleasantly (but not excessively) drunk
d) Talking to people who I know share the beliefs/ideals/views I am expressing.
That does, fortunately for me, cover quite a few situations. However, at a Friday night gathering a couple of weeks ago, I found myself flustered, speechless and totally tongue-tied. With a bit more warning, another glass of wine or a different subject matter, I am convinced my opinions would’ve flowed at a terrific rate.
So, what was it that left me like a gibbering wreck? …… Religion – well, it had to be either that or politics, right? Barry (my husband) brought it up – it’s alright for him, he thrives on such spontaneous debate! In future I’ll just chime in with; “What he said!” (Unless of course we disagree). He carelessly (or maybe intentionally) uttered the words “a couple of atheists,” in reference to us, at a dinner that had been preceded with a prayer and shared with devout Christians. The ‘A’ word did not fall on deaf ears! Indeed, we were in the company of very close friends who probably already had an inkling of our convictions. Naturally, a discussion ensued.
“So, is that what you consider yourselves?”
Barry: “Yes”
Me: “Ermmm….well…ermmm…s’pose”
What was that? It isn’t that I have any doubt about the non-existence of an omniscient being called God – I absolutely do not believe there is one. I have felt that for a long time. In my defence, I was raised and educated a Catholic (I use that in my defence for many things!) so the term “atheist” does not really sit right with me. It seems to have impure, Satanist kind of connotations.
That being the case, I’m not keen on using it as a term to define myself. After all, I hold firm beliefs in doing right, rather than wrong; in being morally sound and instilling positive values in my children; in helping others; in maintaining a positive spirit of family and friendship. The list goes on, but suffice to say that many of my beliefs are, in fact, also the basis of most organised religions. The only difference is that I don’t believe in God – just that one thing and I get a title and all of the implications that go along with it. Barry went on to explain very eloquently and articulately how a god or a belief system are not necessary in order to live a good life, have good morals, be a good person etc. He’s right of course (I should marry him….oh, I did already – in a Church incidentally! Even then, it was for the tradition as opposed to the religious blessing, however, I wouldn’t choose a Church now, 11 years later) – and I think the table agreed with the points he made. Nobody changed their beliefs – I wouldn’t expect anyone to. I have a lot of admiration for those who are solid in their convictions and take strength from their faith. It was the perfect discussion (except for the parts where I fell over myself in an attempt to interject). We listened to one another without attempting to convert from one end of the spectrum to the other. Wonderful!
I have the same issue with politics. I freeze – my mouth loses any connection it had with my brain, my heart rate increases and my blood pressure rises. I’m not going to express my political leanings in this post – one thing at a time – I don’t want to lose all my readers in one fell swoop.
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Religion and politics. Ugh! Your mind is instinctively trying to protect you. Surely you must believe in midi-chlorians!
I had a dream after commenting on your last post, where I was on a plane and I couldn’t talk. No matter what the flight attendant said all I could do was nod. I turned it into a short story.
Now, midi-chlorians – that’s a whole different belief system!
I’d love to read your short story – I’m off to check your blog to see if you posted it there. How wonderful that a dream can inspire a story. I just watched Hugo with my kids in which we saw how Georges Melies’ movies were inspired by his dreams – brilliant movie.
How was Hugo? It seems interesting. I never heard of Georges Melies. It sounds like I should.
Most of what I write is either directly from one of my dreams or inspired by one.
Hugo was a great movie. It is primarily a kids’ film but both my husband and I enjoyed it very much too – it is so beautifully produced and directed and the story is superb. I haven’t read the book but my 10 year old son has and he said it kept close to the story. I hadn’t heard of Georges Melies either until I starting researching this book and movie. Here’s what Wiki have to say: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georges_Méliès
It seems he was quite a pioneer in the world of magic and cinema. I think, considering your interest in dreams and your ability to recount them so well, you will find him quite an interesting subject. I rarely remember my dreams – how wonderful to use them as a writing prompt.
Speaking of which, Jason put up a Write Wednesdays prompt.
I saw Hugo in 3D today. It was an emotional extreme for me, partly because a couple of it’s touching parts hit very close to home, and partly because I’m acrophobic enough that the heights were kinda spooky in 3D. I loved it from beginning to end.
Glad you enjoyed it!
I’ll try to respond with some sort of sense, stuck for words as I also can be, but I’ll start by saying that you and Barry have arrived at the same juncture as myself, though some 20 odd years earlier.
Yes, I used to think that I was right for bringing my children up as Catholics as if that religion was the one that taught moral values as opposed to the others. I agree with you both, but where does the goodness (and evil) of people come from?
I don’t like the Atheism label myself, but unlike yourself, I do find it hard to accept the hard right-wing of fundamentalist Christianity, or indeed of any religion.
And, by the way, I do struggle when talking politics as well – it’s all to do with with the heart rather than the mind!
Actually, I think you did pretty well bringing your children up as Catholics – I mean, it worked ok for me, right?! Catholicism, like most religions, teaches good moral values and I hope I have hung onto those. The fact that I don’t believe in God doesn’t interfere with those positive values which I also hope to pass on to the boys.
I too, struggle with the fundamentalist factions of organised religion. I should clarify my statement, in my the blogpost I said: “I have a lot of admiration for those who are solid in their convictions and take strength from their faith”. I stand by that, but should point out that I mean those that have such strength in their faith that they are able to accept the different beliefs of others. I have seen people take an incredible amount of comfort from their faith, and that, I think is admirable (even though it is not my choice).
Is it really heart rather than mind? I think it’s both. I’ve put so much thought into this, listened to so many conversations on the topic, and read so much about it (in fact, considering my upbringing, you could say I’ve spent a lifetime studying religion!) that I think my mind is also fully engaged – it’s just not always completely connected to my mouth!
Hello! What an interesting subject.
Well, I would point out that ‘atheist’ refers to one’s belief that an omnipotent God does not exist. Period. Believing in doing what’s right doesn’t make you not-an-atheist if you in fact don’t believe in God. That’s just what ‘atheist’ means. It’s not another word for “sociopath,” no matter what fundamentalists would have you believe.
The good news is, you also don’t have to belong to a certain religion to not be an atheist. I don’t affiliate myself with any religion, as I personally believe that they are made by people and are earthly. Also, I find the concept of “salvation” through a “true” religion or a “savior” a little disquieting. But, I am definitely not an atheist.
Thank you again for finding and commenting on my blog. Glad I could find yours as well. Happy New Year.
Hi, thanks for visiting and for your comment!
You’re exactly right – like I said in the blogpost, the only difference between my views and that of a Christian, is the fact that I don’t believe in God. Unfortunately, as with most labels, the Atheist title comes with a stereotype and many, incorrectly, equate that with “sinner”, “evil” or, like you said, “sociopath”. For those reasons, it has been a title I have found difficult to accept – but I’m getting there!
Thanks for taking the time to read my blog – I appreciate your input!
Well, I think it goes back to the fallacy that the only place people get any morals is from religious teachings. This is disquieting to me too, becuase it seems to imply that the only reason people don’t go around doing harm to others is becuase they’re afraid God will send them to hell if they do. This isn’t true and people aren’t like that, so I don’t know what the logic is. Besides, society had laws and rules and morals for thousands of years before the church was established… so…. there you go!
Yes! In fact, many seem to be doing harm because of their belief in God! Religion, despite teachings to the contrary, seems to be the driving force behind many wars and acts of terrorism.
It’s true that (normally) people are not inherently evil, some choose the guidance of organised religion to reinforce their good values and morals, others find that reinforcement rooted in human nature. I’d like to see the negative stereotypes of Atheists dispelled. Already it is much more accepted in the UK than it is here in the US. Maybe one day….
Indeed. Maybe one day. And, and I think you’re right. There’s a lot of harm done by religion. No real way to deny that. I think it builds more walls than it pulls down, personally.
Like you Anna, I was brought up a Catholic, and the only thing it taught me was fear. I believe that it is important to know that what sets us apart is the notion of personal choice, to accept that there will be times when we do make the wrong decision and to realise that this is very much a part of the learning/building experience of our lives. Having quested around for many years (many of which I was happy to be ‘branded’ as an atheist), I finally came upon Buddhism, of which the main premise is:- ‘always be kind, and if you can’t be kind, at least do no harm.’ Pretty simple and it works for me. (We are not loooking for converts)!!!!!
Hello! Thank you for reading my post and for your comment.
Buddhism seems to have successfully held on to the peaceful teachings that are at its centre. I think most religions teach that it is important to be kind and do no harm but somehow lose that in practice (mainly because they are seeking converts!) It is the most important teaching in Buddhism whereas others sacrifice it for other beliefs in their religion. Although I am not Buddhist, being kind and doing no harm is central to the way I live.