Introverts rock!
You cannot imagine my glee at discovering an article entitled “The Upside of Being an Introvert (and why Extroverts are Overrated)”, Bryan Walsh, TIME magazine, Feb. 6, 2012. I loved it! I took the little innie/outie test and it turns out I’m an introvert. Who knew? Perhaps I’m not at the J.D Salinger end of the scale. I’m just the innie side of centre (which is good because I like to hedge my bets) otherwise known as an ambivert. My husband, also an ambivert, trips slightly onto the extrovert side of the scale – we’re probably about equidistant from the middle! It’s quite a nice place to be. After all, there are benefits to being an introvert. These are some of the ones Walsh outlines:
“Introverts may be able to fit all their friends in a phone booth, but those relationships tend to be deep and rewarding. Introverts are more cautious and deliberate than extroverts, but that means they tend to think things through more thoroughly, which means they can often make smarter decisions. Introverts are better at listening – which, after all, is easier to do if you’re not talking – and that in turn can make them better business leaders, especially if their employees feel empowered to act on their own initiative. And simply by virtue of their ability to sit still and focus, introverts find it easier to spend long periods in solitary work, which turns out to be the best way to come up with a fresh idea or master a skill.”
Thank you Mr Walsh! It was like being handed a disclaimer for all my introvert tendencies. As I sit here, (alone, tapping away at my keyboard) I am musing the signs of my introversion.
Sorry if this was you!
The Mystery Phone Call. If you call my house and your number doesn’t show up (or even if it does sometimes) it is likely that one of three things will happen.
1. My kids will answer.
2. My husband will answer.
3. The nice voicemail lady will answer. (This one is the most likely).
Since my extended family is international, it is rare for me to recognise any phone numbers as they all come up “unknown”. I don’t really know why we have a phone at all!
The Power of Email, Social Media and the Blogosphere. Like most introverts, I prefer to express myself in writing. However, I have a lot to say! Hence I find outlets through Facebook, not one but two blogs (with a third on the way….more about that later….is that a collective sigh of exasperation I hear?) and via email. This is not a fear of talking face-to-face or using the phone, it is just a preference. So strong is that preference that the Sears card I’ve been meaning to cancel is still sitting unused, waiting for me to pick up the darn phone. If it could’ve been done by email it would’ve bitten the dust months ago (sorry B…I’ll get to it!).
Bye now, I'm having an introvert moment!
I write, I read, I run. Seriously, how much time can a person spend inside one’s own head? I’m not a hermit or anything but I highly value time to get my thoughts in writing; time to bury my head in a good book; and time to pound the pavements until my mind reaches that meditative zone of contemplation. As a fellow blogger said in her short story, Annie in Wonderland: “I was born a writer and a bookworm”, with a hover text explanation: “The official term for this is ‘introvert.’” Throw in a bit of solo running and we’re there, introversion!
On the spot. This is a situation I abhor more than any. When asked a difficult question in a public forum I clam up. It doesn’t mean I can’t or won’t answer. Just that somehow the increasing heart beat interferes with my ability to think quickly and co-ordinate my mouth with my brain. The result is, somewhat predictably, incoherent and red-faced. Ask me the same question in a close family/friend group and the eloquence is smooth, the exterior calm (ok, that’s an exaggeration…let’s just say, I am more able to make my point).
Taking the stage. Actually, I have always been pretty comfortable on the stage. Being an introvert (or ambivert) does not equate with being shy or lacking confidence. There is something very liberating about taking on someone else’s character traits. That does not mean that taking the stage (which I haven’t done for many years) doesn’t make me nervous, just that acting is fun. Speaking in public is the same. In fact, my best job interview was one where I had to prepare a presentation for the board. I actually enjoyed preparing and giving speeches and presentations at university and, as a teacher, once my lessons were prepared, I loved getting up there and talking it through. I don’t even mind job interviews as long as I have researched the job, the company etc really well first. I just need the time to think and work through topics in my head, time to process.
An Introvert in America. I am living in a country that is somewhat challenging for an introvert. As Walsh says:
“Simply being an introvert can also feel taxing – especially in America, land of the loud and home of the talkative. {…. } it sometimes seems that the quality of your work has less value than the volume of your voice.”
Introverts have their place too, they (we) are just a little quieter about it. Hillary Clinton, Warren Buffett, Mohandas Gandhi and Bill Gates are among some of the most prominent introverts (doesn’t that sound like an oxymoron). I am proud to share this trait with them….now, if I could just share some of their success and brilliance!
Mohandas Gandhi Source: wikimedia.org
Hillary Clinton Source: wikimedia.org
We’re in good company!
Introvert, extrovert or ambivert? Where do you fall on the spectrum?
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Nice to meet a kindred spirit!! I’m very much an introvert & I sat here nodding my head in agreement as I read this post
I’m going to have to check out that article!
I’m not sure if the article is accessible
to introvertsonline yet as it was only just in Time magazine (I get mine in the mail!).Thanks for your comment!
LOL! I answered Yes on every single one of those questions! #11 – Can’t share my work until it’s done – is a phobia!
I don’t know if other introverts experience this, but being alone for me is really anything but. I’ve been my own best friend for as long as I can remember. My head is full of people who are perfectly suited to be my company for any mood. Party girl? Come on over! Party’s in my head.
Running is when I can have real alone time, time when even the voices in my head are quiet.
I never really thought of myself as an actress, but it’s true. I love pretending I’m someone I’m not. Writing fiction is such an awesome outlet because it lets me pretend I’m different characters and sometimes even different writers.
Last week, I commented on Carrie Rubin’s post, Birth of a Social Networking Loner, that “I think social networking is really designed more for the gregarious, outgoing and opinionated, but something inexplicable happens to us introverts when you give us a keyboard and a cocoon. We secretly desire to be those people, and the electronic interface immunizes us from the traits that normally keep us bottled up.”
Sometimes when put on the spot, I’ve found myself talking without being able to hear my own voice and with no conscious thought, literally on auto-pilot. Scary when you come back and people are nodding their heads and stuff and you have no idea what you said!
Anyway, these are all great observations, Anna! Awesome post!
Thank you Anne! I’ll check out the Rubin post. I love that – “a keyboard and a cocoon.” Oh the joy!
Thank you for posting this. Introverts really do get a bum rap most of the time. Yet I’ve found that introverts often have more substance as leaders than extroverts. Most leaders that I admire have some introvert tendencies.
Unfortunately, I was unable to read the whole article online, as I am not a Time subscriber. Guess I’ll have to try and find it in the magazine section at a store.
Thank you for your comment! I think Time do make their articles widely available eventually (although I’m not certain that applies to all of them) but this article was only just in the magazine – hopefully they’ll remove “subscribers only” soon. It’s well worth a read!
The more I read about introverts and their tendencies, the more I feel the need to talk (well, write) about them!
I really enjoyed reading this and the comments made so far. To be honest, I was also amazed at the coincidence of my having read an article on 4th February in the Guardian weekend magazine, entitled “Look out, here come the introverts”.
Cynical as I am, I wonder if Susan Cain has a very good publicity machine; her book ((“forthcoming” the article says (Oliver Burkeman is the author) “Quiet:The Power Of Introverts In A World That Can’t Stop Talking” apparently extols the virtues of introversion. I can imagine that this book could be a best seller and would be interested to know if countries other than the U.S. and Britain have experienced what I’m now seeing as a “movement”!
I did that test myself and had the result as “most likely an introvert”. I did answer all the questions honestly and I was pleased to see the result. But why pleased? I think it’s because of the re-definition of the word “introvert”; it’s now a quality to be valued. We introverts should be proud! Will we find now that extroverts will in future wear our mantle! Will our “innies movement” start to campaign for equal rights with “outies” in the work place?
I’ll just quote a few lines from Oliver Burkeman’s article (he is a weekly contributor to a section of the Guardian weekend magazine in the section “Mind and Relationships” with a sub-heading “This Column Will Change Your Life”: a bit tongue-in-cheek, would you believe it!) He writes in reference to Susan Cain’s book :” Introverts will flock to book-shops to buy it, I suspect. Except not in flocks. Maybe they’ll just download it to their e-readers in private”.
Look forward to your and/or anyone else’s response!
Glad you enjoyed it…and the comments!
Here’s the link to the Guardian article in case anyone else wants to take a look: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/03/this-column-change-your-life-introverts
I’ve already got the Susan Cain book in my queue, ready to download to my Kindle.
Reading all this about introverts, I’m glad we have been careful to allow our introverted son the time and space he needs to be inside his own head! I believe it could lead to great things.
I think maybe you’re right. We introverts are going to change the world….quietly!
I think I tip slightly extrovert & I’m quite talkative, but I also value solitude. As I get older I realize that more and more. I wonder if it’s possible to get more introverted as you get older?
That’s an interesting observation that I hadn’t thought of. I wonder if that’s the case or do we just put more value on time alone as our lives get busier as we age? For me, I think it’s probably the latter. I’ve always been more comfortable in smaller groups of close friends which I continue to enjoy as well as solitude.
I’ve been thinking of this article on and off since the day you published it, Anna! It’s great, I loved it, but somehow I can’t seem to get my head around it. So I decided to consult my Thesaurus (online) just to help me out. Introvert: Solitary, loner, quiet, self-conscious, apprehensive, cautious, nervous, sheepish… to name just a few. Well none of those are you, Anna, at least I don’t associate you even vaguely with most of them. So of course, I couldn’t resist clicking on your link to the little test, hoping it would enlighten me. I had to do it twice to realize… it’s a con! It’s not true! Surely it’s not just there to make the shy and sheepish feel better? No, I won’t go that far, but as a moderately extrovert person I feel almost cheated. Take question 6 for example. Is it implying that extroverts are bad listeneres? I consider that to be one of my best qualities! How about this for question 8: “I enjoy work that allows me to dive in with few interruptions.” So is there anyone (innie or outie) that actually likes interruptions while they work? And why (Q.11) would only an introvert not show their work before it’s finished? Don’t we ALL prefer to do that? But question 12 takes the biscuit. “I dislike conflict”. Is it really just the extroverts out there looking for a fight? Or at least if they’re not looking for one, they just love a bit of conflict to come along and spice the day up a bit?
Or maybe I’m also just an introvert all along? I certainly didn’t think of you as one. It’s not something I’d associate with someone who has 2 blogs, is a (great) teacher, and loves (relishes) moving countries with such ease and without a hint of adaptation difficulty. Infact, those (great and lovely friends) who I do generally classify as introverts don’t even generally have Facebook. It’s too exhibitionist for the true introvert. Even one of my (non-introvert!) friends once described it as “this one-sided boast session”. Well I wouldn’t go that far, but I see her point.
However, what I did pick up on reading all of this, was the defensive maybe, move away from all those introvert clichés (the ones my trusty Thesaurus came up with). Enjoyment of being in one’s own company, fear of the phone, preference for small groups of people… all of which I felt strongly identified with. I must be a lot nearer to the centre than I’d imagined. Even so, I feel the extroverts out there should lash back and also defend themselves. Show offs, exhibitionists, gregarious… What? Let’s prove the Thesaurus wrong too, extroverts!
Great reply! I think you’ve spent so much time thinking this over and getting your ideas straight that you may well be more introvert than you think! An introvert isn’t necessarily shy – I don’t put myself in the shy category. Yes, it’s true that I am not quiet when I am in company such as yours – I am comfortable with my closest friends (there are not many that fall into that category). The times when I am quiet are when I am with a larger group – think back to the party we had whilst you were here. I preferred to be attending to the cooking, chatting with a small group or whatever. I’m not shy, I am happy to attend parties, but I find conversations in large groups draining and I tend to steer clear or stay quiet and listen only. I love to chat with close friends. Most of my day to day activities are solitary – reading, writing, on the computer, running etc. Being either introvert or extrovert does not necessarily affect teaching skills. Many teachers are introverts. The only time it was an issue for me was in staff meetings or talking to large group of parents. That doesn’t mean I didn’t take part in those things, just that those occasions make me uncomfortable. Sometimes we just have to push our comfort zones. I was happy in the classroom teaching the lessons I had already put thought into. That’s very different to socialising.
Blogs and social networks are great outlets for introverts. You’ll find that there are quite a few bloggers who are actually introverts. This is because, even though we find it difficult to share our thoughts verbally, we still have opinions, ideas etc. It’s much easier for an introvert to share them in writing than verbally. Go back to my “stuck for words” post, for example – I found that topic very difficult to talk about in a large group but once I had the time to sit, reflect, and write, my words flowed much more easily. As for Facebook – for me (and I’m not speaking for all introverts or ambiverts or whatever) it is an easy way to share photos and stuff with friends and family who live so far away. They don’t see my kids as they grow up but Facebook makes that at least a little easier. To be honest, I’ve been back and forth over whether to keep my account and keep it only for that reason.
Moving house and country is not exclusively for extroverts. It doesn’t involve socialising with large groups. Any friends we have made have been through work or school, not through hanging out at parties! I’d go as far as to say that having introvert tendencies has helped with moving – I’m quite content in my own mind and so moving is much easier if I’m not dependent on other people…especially in those first few months before I’ve had a chance to make friends in the community (yes, it does normally take me that long…and most of those friends I meet through Barry or the kids – I can think of one exception here – and you were the only exception to that in Spain!)
Here’s an excerpt from wikipedia that sums up the introvert (this description is very definitely me – take out the fishing and replace with running!):
Introversion – (here’s the link if you want to compare it with their view of extraversion) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion
Introversion is “the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one’s own mental life”.[5] Some popular writers have characterized introverts as people whose energy tends to expand through reflection and dwindle during interaction.[6] This is similar to Jung’s view, although he focused on psychic energy rather than physical energy. Few modern conceptions make this distinction.
The common modern perception is that introverts tend to be more reserved and less outspoken in groups. They often take pleasure in solitary activities such as reading, writing, using computers, hiking and fishing. The archetypal artist, writer, sculptor, engineer, composer, and inventor are all highly introverted. An introvert is likely to enjoy time spent alone and find less reward in time spent with large groups of people, though he or she may enjoy interactions with close friends. Trust is usually an issue of significance: a virtue of utmost importance to an introvert choosing a worthy companion. They prefer to concentrate on a single activity at a time and like to observe situations before they participate, especially observed in developing children and adolescents.[7] Introverts are easily overwhelmed by too much stimulation from social gatherings and engagement. They are more analytical before speaking.[8]
Introversion is not seen as being identical to shy or to being a social outcast. Introverts prefer solitary activities over social ones, whereas shy people (who may be extraverts at heart) avoid social encounters out of fear,[9] and the social outcast has little choice in the matter of his or her solitude.
I think some of the synonyms you found could be applied to some introverts, but none of those words are the definition of an introvert. Here’s the Oxford English Dictionary definition:
Person predominantly concerned with his or her own thoughts or feelings rather than external things; an inwardly thoughtful person.
Extrovert: A person predominantly concerned with external things or objective considerations.
Basically, being an introvert doesn’t mean shy and quiet just as being extrovert doesn’t mean loud and exhibitionist. It’s a spectrum and I find myself to be just the introvert side of the middle….like I said in the post, an ambivert. I’ve always been aware of that though. The little test didn’t actually uncover anything new – the signs are very clear!
Ok that’s it. I’m an introvert! Your blog has diagnosed me. A sociable introvert, and probably only just leaning over that line from ambivert, but yes, I’m convinced. And clearly, most definitely are you!
Haha! That really made me laugh! Changing the world one blogpost at a time
As always, I enjoyed Rachael’s comments. But that doesn’t mean that I agree with all her (or indeed your) opinions. So, I’m off on a bad footing already, depending, of course on your tolerance and judgement!
I may have hinted at my own real opinion on the whole subject before, but now, having read your blogpost and comments on it (and Rachael’s in particular) several times together with related articles and some experience of life (the latter is probably irrelevant), I have come to the conclusion that the use of the terms “introvert” and “extrovert” should be restricted to the study and practice of psychology. Otherwise, we will end up in a debate, similar to that, for example, over the definition of “good” and “evil”!
To explain my “reasoning”(!), I’ll quote the O.E.D and follow it by my own thoughts based on the definitions and my (limited) knowledge of Latin.
Introvert: a shy, reticent person. Psychology – a person PREDOMINATELY concerned with their own thoughts and feelings rather than with external things. From the Latin “intro” (to the inside) and “vertere” the verb “to turn”.
Extrovert – an outgoing, socially confident person. Psychology – a person PREDOMINATELY concerned with external things or objective considerations. From the Latin “extra” (outside) and “vertere” as above.
I have capitalised “predominately” above because I believe that that word is crucial to the discussion. I believe that both terms are defined correctly in the psychological sense of the words, but that because of the word predominately (which again is from the Latin and stronger than just “dominately” – ((pre (or prae) meaning before or in front of)), the “ordinary” usage of the words is usually inappropriate.
So, there’s my thoughts!
Firstly, I agree….Rachael’s comments are always brilliant!
Also, I put the OED definitions in my comment too….but without the capitalisation!
Finally, you said: “So, there’s my thoughts!” – I think I might have missed them. I see your breakdown of the latin terms. The Time article I based the post on is concerned with the psychological sense of the words, so I think you’re agreeing with that, right?
Thanks Anna’s Dad! I agree that the definitions, or use of these terms are misleading, and I think far too generalised, to the extent that they are perhaps often mis-interpreted. I much prefer Anna’s interpretation and analysis (along with The Times), which proves that even a definition with a (seemingly) negative edge to it, can become quite positive, and vice versa. It reminds me of one of Anna’s previous posts about finding one’s own faults… they can be turned around to advantages if need be!
Well, you know me Rach…always looking for the positive
Wish I could take credit for the interpretations of the introvert but the Time article by Bryan Walsh deserves that honour – all I did was agree with him!
Nice week with the runs
NOthing wrong with an 8 mile run… Any running is intense 
Cheers
Thank you! Yes, my husband was amused by the fact that a rest week included an 8 mile run!